Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

If this film hadn't inspired so many other borderline snarky things to say there would be an overwhelming temptation to start off by suggesting that the makers of this film were trying to give the full title of Precious a run for its money.  While I'm going to go ahead and indulge my deep seated need to poke fun at this film throughout this posting I'm going to fess up right here and admit I enjoyed my outing to see this film.  Most likely because I've never read the source material, and because a copy isn't always a bad thing, or perhaps there's just a deep seated defect in my soul .  Regardless, I checked my cynicism at the door and just enjoyed the film for what it was.  Within the confines of its genre I thought it was reasonably put together and pushed most of the required (if expected) buttons. 

Let's see if I can do the story in a nutshell.  At the start of the film Poseidon (greek god of the sea I believe) walks out of the water in Coney Island Brooklyn.  Then he walks (it would appear) to Manhattan to meet Zeus at the top of Mt. Olympus (in the Empire State Building).  Yes, I'm also wondering why Poseidon didn't just get out of the water in Manhattan - though I always love seeing the Astroland amusement part onscreen - so no complaints.  Maybe he just wanted to stop at Mrs. Stahls for a knish - I'd hate to have been around when he found out they're out of business.  Anyway ... Zeus is pissed because someone stole his lightening (you'd think he'd be more careful with something like that).  Based on a history of bad blood he blames Poseidon - and assumes he used his son to steal it.  Demanding it back he threatens war between the gods (and likely death to humanity) unless it's returned in two weeks.  So to start, the Greek gods are real, along with any mythological creater that can be used in service of the story.  Enter - Percy Jackson your average American dyslexic teen with a somewhat rough home life.  Yep - you got it, son of Poseidon.  Before you know it folks are after the boy who lived Percy and he's shipped off to training camp to learn how demi-god kids roll.  There he meets Annabel (daughter of Athena) and finds out his friend Grover is really a half goat dude who has been assigned to keep an eye on him.  After surviving a very rough game of capture the flag (where for some reasons they fight with true swords - which would seem to cut down on the number of demi-gods) they head out to take the steps needed to convince everyone that Percy didn't steal the lightening, and save the day.  It's not as though you're not going to have some idea where things are going, and there's not going to be an award given for the film's writing at next year's Oscars I expect.  Nonetheless I found it a diverting couple of hours - and only the last battle scene sort of lost my interest (I almost always find the final big bad showdown sort of a letdown).  That's all I was looking for in a movie like this - so I've got no complaints.

David Plotz from Slate.com liked the film far less than I but is totally correct that it seems ridiculously derivative from the Harry Potter books.  Right down to Percy and two friends, one male slightly dorky but willing to do anything for Harry Percy and a strong intelligent female character there to get them out of the stickiest spots.  Though in this world Harry Percy and Hermione Annabeth seem clearly destined to hook up.  Which leads me to another one of Plotz's complaints - the characters (apparently bumped up in the age from the novel) are pretty sexualized.  For me that isn't really a problem - I sort of like the extra romantic dimension in the recent Potter films (sorry - see the film and then try not treating the material interchangably).  But if I'd taken my spawn to a PG film where there's near constant references to sex - oblique perhaps but not entirely unsubtle I might be less than thrilled.  Think I'm kidding? - one character finally grows his horns after presumably being made into a man by the queen of the underworld - and I don't mean he celebrated his Bar Mitzvah in the underworld.  Also, don't get me started on the sexual tension dealt with through swordplay at the end - though perhaps that's a current abstinence only education technique for all I know.  Given that Alexandra Daddario who plays Annabeth is in her 20's you don't have to feel that badly if you transpose any of your childhood Xena musings over to her.  So again - critical complaint noted - but not a personal complaint.

I could go on - but honestly, you're just going to go or not.  If you're a huge fan of the books, or a youngster I have no idea how you're going to react.  But I'll roll the dice on the next one - assuming they make enough money to go again.

Oh, and if you are going to see the film, afterward can you take a look at the spoiler related questions past the jump and let me know if you've got any insight there?

Minor spoilers ahead:
And if anyone sees the film and can explain exactly why Grover continues to cart his crutches around once Percy know the deal I would be truly grateful.  Seriously...

Bonus points if someone can explain how exactly it was a good idea at the training camp games for them to fight full throttle with swords?  At any point in the capture the flag sequence if someone had taken a swipe with the bladed end instead of cracking folks with a sword handle and/or elbow we could have been watching Kill Bill instead of a PG film.  That just seemed lame at a level meeting or exceeding The A-Team's ability in the 80's to spray bullets (not to mention grenades) week after week without actually hitting anyone.